Judging from the increased traffic I’ve gotten the past few days (don’t get excited — it’s gone from my usual 10 to about 30 hits per day), some search engine, perhaps Google, must have come through and indexed my site. What’s drawing folks in? Pimped Hummers. (They’re certainly not here to read about malicious ecophagy ….) I’ve blogged a couple times dismissing excessively large, extravagant SUVs and Hummers as being among the worst examples of conspicuous consumption. Enthusiasts who follow the search engines to my posts end up with someone wagging their finger at them. I’m chuckling about that.
A friend recommended that if I really want to drive traffic, what I should do is have a gateway with a mini-IQ test to qualify folks before they’re allowed to view any content. My friend believes that keeping people out if they’re not smart enough will magically cause smart people to visit and comment. I don’t quite see it. But if you’ve read this far, I do at least encourage more comments.
Just to confound the search engines and draw in more stray traffic, here are some search terms that should result in more misdirection. They’re right out in the open, rather than being hidden in metatags.
Britney Spears rehab Angelina Jolie babies adoption American Idol Sanjaya Sopranos 300 Spartan boobs pussy Playboy naked homosexual free pictures George Bush political hack Democrat Republican scandal bedroom video
I wonder how long it will be before the next sweep through the site to index the terms above. Hopefully, nothing in there will trip alarms at the Dept. of Homeland Security.
Update: On April 14, this blog had its best day ever with 120 hits, almost four times the previous best. I can’t say what the cause was, nor do I expect to see that happen again in the foreseeable future, but it strikes me as pretty funny that the search terms thrown out above might have misdirected a few folks here. And I doubt they’re inclined to read very far in and comment.
The Spiral Staircase 
You don’t really know, though. Perhaps the great unwashed masses are thoroughly bored with celebrity gossip and bedroom scandals. With all the bloodshed and madness engulfing us, the whole nation could be begging for your insights, Brutus.
Your suspicion that those easy and, for you, uncharacteristic search terms have led to a rampage up and down The Spiral Staircase could be right or wrong. To the degree we must rely on faith or guess or confess utter bafflement since the clues lead us into ever greater darkness, you may have a basis for theology opening beneath your feet.
Personally, I like the idea of a gateway intelligence test. Quizzes always attract blog-surfers. They’re fun; they’re informative. Give the losers a pleasing profile, though. If they aren’t smart enough for you, perhaps they’re artists or prodigious lovers of humanity. Count, too, the ever swelling ranks of great-souled mystics. The last group, those too captivating to ignore, would be the transcendent beauties, who despite any physical drawbacks, nonetheless, exude a beatific sexuality.
Am I going up or down?
I don’t know if you’re going up or down the Staircase, Grasshopper, any more than I am. I sometimes thinks it’s one of those endless Escher staircases leading nowhere. I’ve been at this for over a year, and although I haven’t been as diligent as I first imagined, there is by now a substantial body of work to look back upon. You’ve been a sensitive reader and faithful commenter during that time, which I appreciate. My lack of “hitting the big time” surprises me not at all. I don’t tell the stories people really want to hear.
i wouldn’t worry so much about blog stats. you’re not competing in some popularity contest, are you? if you want to write catchy blog entries to entice the masses, then try some yellow journalism, or make some outlandish statement to attract as much criticism as possible. hey, attention is attention. but if your intent is to be true to yourself, then just do what you do best. best of luck.